The Last Codice

“Beware of over concern for money, or position, or glory.

Someday you will meet a man who cares for none of these

things. Then you will know how poor you are.” -Rudyard Kipling

The Last Codice

The road uphill is the same

As the road downhill.

Now why

Didn’t I remember that?

Whoa, doggie.

As the man said,

Oh, well, what the hell.

And now, knowing

What is in front of me,

Nothing is hidden:

Ice is still water.

Walls keep nothing out, nor in.

The white cloud above

Casts a cold shadow down.

The past is piled high

With enough of my codices,

If I have learned anything

From them

It is this:

Love, without expectations,

Without exceptions,

Is the only resolve.

Lay down no rules,

Make no laws,

Lest you be

Repressed by them.

And when the shadows

Finally fall,

Realize that we also live

In that space between heartbeats.

Sing to the stars,

Make peace

With the darkness,

And you will know yourself

And become known.

You will not want more

Than what you have,

For you will have everything,

The luxury of enough.

-elec (AKA Earl LeClaire)

Are you one of the lucky ones like me? Yes, privileged even. I think my dad made decent money but with seven kids, piano lessons and tuition for Catholic schools, money was tight. The parents were frugal, sometimes working two jobs, big garden, and my mom knew how to stretch a dollar. With little regard for financial security, I became a teacher, knowing full well I wouldn’t make much money. That didn’t seem to matter to this child of the ’60’s.

Just how fancy a car does one need. Is it safe, reliable and enough conveniences to make driving a little more pleasurable, standard features today like cruise control, AC and AT. , I’ve never owned a new car. Most of my cars cost between $1400-$3,000. I did splurge on a couple of exceptional deals, a 7 year old Toyota Corolla, a $6k Honda Element with a salvage title, and a nearly new Nissan Truck. Some cars I can sell when I’m done for what I have in them. A decent used car is good enough.

My first car. A used 1973 Dodge Colt. A step up from the VW Beetle my parents let me drive.

Something about smaller cars appeal to me. Killer deal on a 2014 Prius C. Should last a while.

How big and fancy a house is enough? If you can afford caretakers and house cleaners, it doesn’t matter. Live it up. But if cleaning the joint falls on you, the fewer the bathrooms, the less carpet, and few walls make for easier cleaning. I just can’t justify spending more money than necessary for a place to sleep and cook a few meals. As a teacher and a parent paying child support, or then a single sole supporting parent of a pre-teen and teenage, I sought out cheap, even free places to live. For a couple years, I was a live-in on site resident caretaker, rent free. Over the years, I’ve lived in a trailer, multiple basement apartments, and even a 100+ year old farmhouse in TN. That house had a chimney, with two wood stoves, each on opposite sides of the chimney. Wood heat is great, if you can wield a chainsaw. Water was provided by a spring and salamanders would happily swim in the cistern.

Then in 2008, for better or worse, I bought an old run down, poorly built, worse maintained log cabin. It was in such poor shape, that even after 12 years, it sold for less than what I paid for it. It was almost as rough as the farmhouse in TN but a better location. Some said it was charming. Those who understood how a house was supposed to be built rolled their eyes. But it was good enough for me, and several renters. Price was right.

I used to think owning a home was the end all. Now I’m not so sure. Circumstances now have me in a small rental house, in need of fixing up according to some. It’s bigger than I NEED but perfect for what I want. I’m quite comfortable with the painted paneling, the old linoleum, and dripping faucet. There is room for guests, mostly my grandchildren, and all the appliances work, and I don’t mind visiting the laundromat once in awhile. I’m close to the highway, so close in fact that I can park a vehicle near the road and walk to it if snow is called for.

Are people with designer homes and fancy furniture happier? Maybe. In my house, furniture doesn’t match. In fact, function rules the days. ((idiomatic) To set the standard which guides behavior; to control a situation, group, strategy, etc. ) If it works, if it fits, then that’s good enough for me. A ten foot long workbench, formerly from my workshop, adds additional counter space to the kitchen. Three sets of cabinet drawers on the bottom shelf were salvaged from someone’s front lawn before the garbage man got it. Mismatched furniture throughout the house are comfortable. Most everything of mine was purchased second hand. It’s good enough.

I’m just a visitor here on earth, and I came in with nothing and will leave with nothing but memories. Like f visits with the grandchildren, or game nights with friends, or the joy of watching the day start sitting on an old metal chair with a second hand chair seat pad, drinking coffee made in my thrift store coffee maker. That would make me happy.

I’d love to get some honest feedback. How much is enough? At what point does stuff no longer make you fulfilled? What is enough, and what is too much?

My will and final instructions will be easy. Let family and friends take what they want. No fighting please. Call Goodwill or Habitat for Humanity. Have them cart off whatever they want. It may look familiar to them in fact. I probably bought some of the things there. I doubt there will be much if any money to leave behind. If so, keep the memorial service simple, maybe in someone’s backyard or at a park. Cast my ashes in the garden. Dress casually, speak freely, laugh a lot. Let the emotions flow freely, something I like to do. That will be good enough for me.

Robert and Marie Tidyman take a break from gardening to enjoy a laugh. Circa1958