Trump’s Wannabe Legacy

My opinion. I won’t waste time backing it up with research.  Do your own.

Particularly later in life, we start thinking about one’s legacy.  “Did I matter?”

 Obama’s legacy will still be determined but as of late, he is one of the most admired men in the world, and has a long list of firsts,  overcoming adversity, and showing grace under pressure. 

Then there is Trump.  Per a collective of noted psychologists and psychiatrists, he is a sick man.  Can you imagine what goes through his head when he thinks “How will I be remembered?”  He said it himself.  “I build things.”

What better way to be remembered than with a structure, that costs billions to build, and as a result, won’t be torn down anytime soon.  I really believe that his willingness to jeopardize the lives of his constituents, the parks, Homeland Security, the economy, the country and more rests on the hope that he can become immortal with a wall, a big, expensive wall, that others pay for, sacrifice for, and he demonstrates his greatness. Egomaniac much?  and it will be the ultimate screwing for the American people, to which he seems to derive some sick pleasure of screwing others, figuratively of course.

Pitiful, isn’t it?  He will have a legacy but I suspect it will be one much like Nixon.  A crook, self serving, and not too bright. A man so emotionally damaged, a psychopath desperate for the approval of others, and will do anything to get it.

Maybe he should have read the article below.  It seems he did everyone in reverse.  Maybe the one thing he has shown us is what not to be and not to do.  Sometimes you got to hit bottom.  I’m hoping we are almost there with him. Looking forward to the rebound.

5 Ways to Leave a Great Legacy

Leaving a legacy is an important part of your life’s work. A legacy develops from a life dedicated to self-reflection and purpose. What will be revealed and what will endure is a truthful and value driven body of living.

By Joan Moran, Contributor

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” — Shannon L. Alder

  1. Support the People and Causes That are Important to You
  2. Reflect and Decide What is Most Important in Your Life
  3. 3. Share Your Blessings With Others
  4. Be a Mentor to Others
  5. Pursue Your Passions Because They Are Infectious

Boomer.” Visit her at http://www.joanfrancesmoran.com.

Joan Moran, Contributor

Joan is a Creative Thought Leader, motivational speaker, author and blogger, and an expert on health and wellness.

 

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New Year’s Direction

I like the idea of a new year.  But only as long as it comes around every 12 months.  it would get boring if it happened any more often than that.

Happy New Year 2019 with colorful fireworks

Do you have solid resolutions or something lighter, like directions and ideas.  I’m more of the latter.  Like most people, I add to my list, get in shape, read more, have more fun, travel, etc, etc, etc. but I go even more general.  and then see what pops up.

For example, using the PERMA model as a guide, I consider five categories: Fun, flow, relationships, purpose and achievement.

perma

I definitely want more fun.  I’m looking for activities that make me smile, maybe even hoot a bit.  I think music, concerts, contra dancing, bike riding, hiking. And doing as much of these as I can with my love, Danielle.

Folklife 2014 - Monday

Flow: I get lost in time when building something.  There are plenty of things to build, fix and if I fun out, I have ideas for more.  Tear down the shed and build a barn.  Build bird houses, bat boxes, more compost bins, gardening, fixing the car or bikes.  I get lost in it.

Relationships:  I’m so lucky to have found love, risked jumping in, and learning to love. So looking forward to our adventures together. Whether at home, traveling, contra dancing or more, Danielle is the best partner a person could ask for.

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I’ve also  been so fortunate to have found a men’s group, and miss them since I’ve moved but I love them and they love me. And what’s not to love?  I’m creating a circle of friends here in my new home and confident as my brother Paul says, the cream always rises to the top.  No rush, all in its good time.  I’ve met people in community theater, and meeting more through work. If the thought of a group hug with a bunch of men scares you, you need a group.

 

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Achievement: I can’t get it all done, but I like a few challenges, learning new things, risking a bit, and when something fails, no big deal.  I can’t remember when anything I’ve ever done was a complete failure.  Most things need improvement, and once in a while I can say “I nailed it!” The bigger the challenge, the greater the satisfaction. THAT is a wonderful feeling.  When is the last time you felt that?  How can you challenge yourself  to get that kind of feeling?

Purpose:    My purpose is getting more simple.  Feel more fun, more joy,  more love, compassion and kindness.  May everyone I meet today be blessed by me in some way, with a greeting, a smile, a laugh.  And may everyone I meet today bless me with the same.

I like being inspired, learning new things, new thoughts, ideas, no matter if they are “out there”.  Truth be told, I’ve been “out there”  for a long time but I keep it hidden pretty well except to those that know me well.

If you want to stretch your mind and world, I’d recommend subscribing to https://www.gaia.com/.  I’ve seen the ads for years, and ignored it.  The other day, I signed up for a three month discounted trial.  Even the regular cost is only $10 a month. Cheap cost for some enlightenment. Most every morning, I listen to a youtube video, or music but Gaia has a greater, easier to search library of content that appeals to me.  It might you too.

 

 

 

 

My so so holiday letter of 2018

2018 Christmas Letter

I still have remnants of Ebenezer Scrooge in me. For one, I don’t send Christmas cards. If you don’t know I’m thinking about you through the year, then one day a year isn’t going to make that much difference.  Secondly, while I do my share to support the local economy, buying cards and stamps seems terribly wasteful when I can send you an electronic greeting without killing a tree.

Some of my friends send that letter with all the news from the year.  It is a nice summary of events, many of which I’ve probably forgotten so thanks for that.  I figure if anyone in my family reads my mail, or friends follow me on Facebook, you know what’s happening.  

For posterity maybe, and to help me remember years from now, here are the highlights.

On January 1, 2018, Danielle and I had already moved to Tennessee. Morristown to be exact. She was filling in as a “hospitalist” until mid-February, when her family practice clinic opened its doors. DD’s clinic opened mid February, and I started working 20 hours per week about the same time.  Her work is clicking right along, though the hours are long. 

In January of 2018, I was recovering from a huge dive into community theatre, where I had accepted the role of Ebenezer Scrooge.  Daunting. Lots of time, work, memory work, reaching for expression of feelings but it was good. Not something I want to do full time but once in a while maybe. (That was in December of 2017. As it turned out, I was asked to take two different rolls in one play, Arsenic and Old Lace in the spring.  Then this fall, I was asked to take a roll in a relatively unknown play called “Adam’s Eve”. All fun, time consuming, gratifying, etc. Not sure when I’ll do that again.

And scooters.  Bought a blue Suzuki Burgman 400 and it was stolen out of our garage.  We’ve since tightened up security around here. Recently, in November or October, I bought the red Yamaha Majesty.  Here in TN, we get to ride a little bit even in the winter.

Right before Danielle started, we spent a week in the Keys.  AirBnB’s, the best being on a houseboat for two nights. Great fun. One needs to thaw out in the middle of winter, snorkel a little bit and smell the salty air.

I’m working for the Hamblen County Workforce Development & Education Partnership.  I do what I can to assist the CTE department at the county schools to integrate career skills and grease the skids for kids to get jobs.  So far that means, meetings, videos, web page, data entry and analysis, none of which require a lot of expertise, but basic familiarity. Jack of all trades am I, but a master of none. Great job, make my own hours, as long as it is about 20 hours per week on average, great people, and gives me some pocket change for my expensive habits. Like thrift stores and auctions.

Speaking of which, there is always something to do around this mini-farm.  With three dogs, two horses, two cats, it is sounding like a John Denver song.

Projects included:

  • New horse stall:
  • Garage storage
  • Richard’s workshop
  • Compost bins
  • Grass and leaf collection
  • Gardens
  • And much much more.

As for fun, the Florida Keys was great.  We still hit an occasional contra dance or a movie but most evenings we unwind with a book, often with a dog on our lap. We have season passes for Dollywood and take the grandkids there on occasion too. We hike, sometimes me with the dogs, and Danielle riding the local horse trails.  An occasional dip in the water ad kayak is an easy way to get away from it all.

I miss my men’s groups but do call a few of the guys on occasion.  I did attend three men’s retreats this year, two in NC and one in Nashville.  Two were great. Transformative.

I’ve lost three of the dearest friends this past year.  John Read, my surrogate father who took me in under his wing back in the mid 90’s, and his wife, Mary died within hours of one another.  I got to see them a few days before they passed. My friend Caroline Briggs passed in spring. Known her since the mid ‘90’s as well. Got to visit her in hospice about a week before she passed.  And dear Barb Czina passed this summer. I visited a few days before she collapsed. They were so good to me and I know they visit often. I feel so fortunate to have had such wonderful people in my life, and continue to.

It was year where I had more time to think, feel.  I even had my astrological chart done…very good things ahead.  I now have time to reflect, meditate, exercise. No excuses. The best is now, and the best is yet to come.

Looking ahead:  I assume work will continue to be good. I do wonder however what it is preparing me for next.  I hope to add public speaking to my list of activities, both for work and personal sharing. More videos will be made now that I’m getting the hang of the editing system. In the pursuit of fun and expression, I bought a guitar. I might learn how to use it. You have been warned.  

 

Response Ability

I’ve been thinking about this since my first cup of coffee.

What does “responsible” mean? Some people might be using the word “responsible” for past mistakes. The word itself is loaded with multiple and misleading meanings. Not surprising as we often here as children, “Can’t you be more responsible? (aka mindful)” .  “Who is responsible for this mess (guilty)?” “You will be responsible for making sure this gets done in time. (in charge)”

If I messed up, then I use the word blame,  guilty, or mistake. If in charge of something, then I’m in charge.  If I didn’t plan well, then I wasn’t mindful or forward thinking.

I now use the term responsible like two words response + able.  I am able to respond to events in my life. It is how I respond to things that are out of my control that matters.  A football player may be tackled, but he can respond by diving forward to get an extra yard.

Shit happens that I didn’t cause.  Car wreck comes to mind. Irate students and parents. Other people’s feelings and experiences.  But I am only in charge of my feelings, my thoughts and my response. I choose my actions. Others choose theirs.

So with past mistakes, and I’ve made many, my response now is “What is my take away? What did I learn?  And do I have to apologize to anyone for it? And do I have a mess to clean up, debts to pay, or something else?”

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When shit happens that I didn’t see coming, I don’t waste time blaming or getting pissy.  I think “How can I respond in a way that is useful, helpful and effective? What lesson is there to be learned here?” Everything that happens, and has happened is to teach a lesson.  

I don’t dwell on the past.  What is done is done. My focus is what is now and where am I going.  What makes me happy and what doesn’t? And what do I need to respond to to insure that I’m more happy than not?

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I choose not to hang with people that are negative.  I choose to surround myself with people who seek the better way of living (men’s groups). I choose to do things that are good for me, and learning to avoid things that aren’t. (Sugar, carbs)

I read and listen to inspirational stuff daily, retraining my thoughts, learning to look on the positive side of every event.  And not assuming control of things that are none of my business. My business is my mind, my thoughts, my beliefs and my actions and reactions. Other people’s stuff? Not my business.  Out of my control, out of my circle of influence.

I can’t control what others think or do.  I try to be supportive. Mostly though, I’m learning to be the best me I can be.  And hope that others do the same.

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In alanon, they say “the best gift you can give your family is your own recovery”.  The happier I am, and the longer I can maintain that level of happiness, makes it easier for loved ones that might on occasion worry about me.

 

Laugh ’til you cry.

Do you like football? Especially high school and college football?   A home run by the underdog team? If so, then you have the type of personality that would love to be sitting in the Rose Center to watch a hysterical David and Goliath, sweet love story, complete with mystery, and happy ending and lots to talk about on the drive home otherwise known as “Adam’s Eve.”

What’s so special about live community theater? Besides a wonderful story, you see your neighbors and friends, or names you’ve seen before but didn’t yet befriend, risk being criticized, or even failure.  Just so you can enjoy a couple of hours and forget the day’s problems. And much like college football, you are not watching professionals. You are watching amateurs, digging deep in themselves to transform and present a character, knowing there exists the possibility of criticism, and maybe even failure.  

 

Actors know that living a full life, both on a personal and professional level involves risk.  It involves winning and losing. It means being on a team, with a higher purpose other than one’s own personal happiness.  It means contributing to the happiness of every person in the audience and every person involved in the show that is depending on each actor giving it all they got.

If you want entertainment, then come see the show.  You will love it. And if you want to see your neighbors giving their all,  then come see these brave people, who demonstrate courage, hard work and talent.  For whatever reason, please go see Adam’s Eve, starting this weekend at the Rose Center.

Read more about the play here.  http://www.theatreguildinc.org/adams-eve/

New Tradition Time

Image may contain: fruit and foodIs it time for a new Thanksgiving tradition?  I don’t mean food. I’m talking family activities, like watching football, shopping on Black Friday, board games games in the parlor. And what is a parlor anyway?  

Here’s one idea that will make the whole family laugh, and give them something to talk about. Take in a show put on by your local community theatre.  In this particular case, I’m suggesting The Theatre Guild’s “Adam’s Eve”.  No, it is not a rehash of the story of the first human beings and the first ever recorded lover’s quarrel, but a more updated version.

Without telling you too much, Adam, an avid sports enthusiast, opens his closet and is shocked to find a beautiful woman, claiming to be the second Eve, sent to tip the balance of the world to the good.  But can she convince Adam, his mother, aunt, and his goofy best friend Mark? Maybe, but the bigger challenge will be convincing Adam’s girlfriend Marla, and her co-worker, Dr. Griffin, both psychiatrists?

Like many of our favorite movies the family watches, Adam’s Eve will bring you lots of laughter but also inspire you.

If you need more convincing, the bottom line is this.  It will be good wholesome fun for everyone. And you know how difficult it is to find that these days.  In addition, you will support the arts and the creative endeavors of your friends. You might even want to try out some day. I promise, you won’t be disappointed,Guaranteed.

Show dates are November 16, 17, 18, 23, & 24 at Rose Center’s Prater Hall.  Consider becoming a sponsor too. For details, visit http://www.theatreguildinc.org/.

 

Reaching out for support

march 2011While I’m making progress, I suspect there are others out there that are looking for support too.  Not finding one easily, I posted this on Facebook, and the feedback has been very positive, with at least a dozen folks interested.  I’ll have to wait until this play I’m in is over but looking forward to creating this support group. Fourteen people have responded with interest in just a couple of days.

From Facebook:  Not optimistic that I’ll find what I’m looking for and might have to form a group. I’m looking for a place that offers support for healthy eating and inspires fitness, something of a 12 step approach but also welcomes ideas about changing habits, mindfulness, and addressing the emotional foundation to unhealthy and self destructive lifestyle.

This group would provide support, non-judgement, anonymity, compassion, and inspiration.

Also, if you can suggest a venue, such as a church or meeting place open to use in the evening, maybe one day a week.

(Pictures are from the internet. The guy is not me. I’m overweight but much better looking.)

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Better Health as a Goal

I’m the last person in the world to tell you how to get healthy. It has been the one area of my life where I have been least successful (so far). But all of us have experiences and knowledge about success in some areas.

Charles Duhigh wrote a great book called the Power of Habit.
I listened to it a couple of years ago and considered it one of the more transformational books I know of. In his story, he lost weight not by depriving himself, but by substituting one positive behavior for another, by giving himself a reward when he did something noteworthy, until the habit was solidified. Here is a short explanation of the book but if it resonates, there are TED talks out there too. Duhigg is well documented. What have you read or heard that motivated you. One more.
Lately, I’m trying to be mindful of my emotions and using them to move forward. Lately fear is up there. I’m in a play and don’t want to humiliate myself, or let the staff down by not knowing my lines. But a fear years ago when I lost weight, it was after listening to a tape by Brian Tracy. He is a very successful entrepreneur, and has inspired others to become successful themselves. He has a 12 step process of goal setting. The most important to me, after writing down all the benefits of achieving the goal, is to VISUALIZE having achieved that goal, and feeling how great it is. He, and many others, say that it is the emotion that truly is the fuel in the engine of positive change.
I’ve got to get on with the day but I plan to start compiling a list of benefits to better health. I wonder how long a list we can come up with. Everyone’s list will probably be different but I suspect there will be some shared items, such as confidence in appearance, longer life, higher quality life, longevity, sense of achievement, energy level, reduction of aches and pains, and oh year…that annual trip to the beach, where you have to wear a swimsuit, and often go shirtless? I dread that part. I admit. I am embarrassed.
What’s on your list?

WWJD

Not what you would think. I have a brother, who will remain nameless here but his first name starts with J, thus, WWJD. The guy is a veritable wealth of information. As he should be. He enjoys retirement and now hoping to supplement his pension with book sales, and wood shop creations. He has lost about 20 lbs and still going strong. He is within 10 lbs of his goal weight.

The picture below is just someone off the internet. It can be done.

You are stronger than you know.

From my brother.  “Here are a few of the people I have been listening to just in case you’re interested or want to get a better understanding of what I’m doing.  All too often with YouTube, the information is good but the goofballs delivering it are virtually intolerable. I found these people to be informative, easy to watch, understand and tolerate.  Anytime I had a question regarding anything about insulin, intermittent dieting, fasting, apophagy, what foods to eat, etc., I would usually look to one of these experts. I know it’s a lot, so save this email to use as a reference when you have the time.

Twelve Signs You’re Eating Too Much Sugar https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A01SVcqQOC4
How to quit Sugar & Unhealthy Habits https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olEMIohTgzQ

How Carbs Make You Fat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4QY9yU6Inc

How Carbs Turn to Fat: Weight Loss Secret- Thomas DeLauer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-5Y9om1Nfw

Coming Soon

Random thoughts but no time to put it down yet.

1. Using character strengths according to survey at Authentic Happiness.com
2. Understanding how using a fixed mind set to hinder and a growth mindset to help.
3. Brene Brown on shame and weight loss. I might have to just interpret what I know about that one.
4. Generating enthusiasm through visualization.
5. Using your higher power to garner strength, if you believe in that stuff (I do).
6. Forget about blondes; fit people have more fun.
7. More on the skill of changing habits according to Duhigg.
Would you like to write something? I can add you as a contributor.