A Renewed Effort

July 30, 2018 Introduction: The The High Five

Hello. This is the introduction to a new effort. I’m going to at this point call it “The High Five”, easily read in 5 minutes. Why?   I have a strong need to express myself, share my thoughts and  feelings. Doesn’t everyone have a story to tell?

Most mornings I listen to inspirational video or talk or Ted Talk to get my head straight. Yesterday I was listening to Seth Godin. Smart guy. He suggests everyone should write a blog. It’s not even important if anyone else reads it. It’s just important to go through that process of putting your thoughts together and putting them down. If anyone else enjoys it, all the better.

For me, I want to write my story leave something behind for when I’m gone. I so wish friends, parents and grandparents  had left their story behind. I don’t expect to have many ancestors from my direct line. I have one daughter and two grandchildren. but maybe they’ll read it and enjoy it.

Topics? Over the course of the last 45+ years I rejected the religion that I grew up with. Like many, I’ve read books on philosophy,  religious traditions, and self improvement. Why  so fascinated with philosophy and religion.  I was unbearably unhappy despite a relatively normal childhood, for those days at least.

1960family

I grew up well fed and loved as best my parents and siblings could provide, went to good schools, had lots of opportunities. I was a relatively cute kid, fairly good-looking high school kid, had some natural athletic ability (which I didn’t do much) with and a pretty good brain.  I spent much of my first 16 years confused, lonely, hopeless, feeling unloved and unlovable. As a result, I developed a strong core belief that I was worthless. I was the baby of seven. For those first 16 years, the most significant people in my life were bigger, stronger, smarter, more talented better than me. That became my world view. Growing up in a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic father and a codependent mother, we were all doing our best to emotionally survive. In my case that meant numbing out, trying to not be seen, and keep  quiet. True to form, I married an alcoholic and we divorced when my daughter was only 3.

Lucky for me,  I bumped into a few but significant people along the way.  They were encouraging. They showed me that there was hope. There was a light at the end of the tunnel and it wasn’t a train. 

summer 2012So here I am having just turned 64. I recently moved to a new town in Tennessee, primarily an  industrial town, but  great state park system and some cultural events to make life interesting. I spent the bulk of my career in NC, as a middle school shop teacher with several years taken off in between teaching jobs to sell insurance, work for collection agency, sell cars, wait on tables, and run a handyman business. 

If you’ve known me in the last 5 or 10 years you might think my life is awesome.  It is. I’ve never been happier in my life. I have more hope in my life then ever. I’m confident that the rest of my life will be filled challenges and opportunities to love,  to serve, to create and to make a difference in a way that no one else can.

My current feelings and beliefs are in stark contrast to those I grew up with. So what happened? This blog will be my small effort in communicating my journey,  what I’ve learned what works for me, what doesn’t work. Some stories will be light, frivolous and fun. Others more  common place and contemplative, but maybe something you can relate to. And I won’t be surprised if on occasion I go deep. Feel free to visit often. Your comments,  suggestions, and constructive criticism are almost always welcome. Almost.

where do the years go